Speaking the Truth in Love


A Conversation with God

Human:  I want to do “X”

God:  You’re free to do it.

Human:  But you say “X” is wrong.

God:  Yes.

Human:  Because you want to control me!

God:  No.  You’re free to do whatever you wish.

Human:  But you say “X” is wrong.

God:  Yes, but only because I want what is best for you.

Human:  But I want to do “X”

God:  You’re free to do it.

Human:  But I want you to say “X” is good.

God:  I can’t say that.

Human:  Why are you so hateful and intolerant?!

---

We have been told in 1 Corinthians 10:23 (CSB) that “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial”.

Right now, I think a lot of what we’re seeing in our world has to do with the reality that God lets us choose our own paths, and then He lets us live with the consequences of those choices. 

The Bible tells us we must “speak the truth in love.”  However, In the U.S., we have a crisis when it comes to truth-telling. We see it among our top leaders, but also throughout our culture.  When truths are told, those telling the truth can be labeled, “haters”, “intolerant”, “phobic” or worse.

 

So how do we go about speaking the truth in love?  Well, here are six guidelines:


1.  Listen before you speak - Make sure you understand the other person’s perspective by asking good questions, and taking time to hear their perspective, and gauge when you “weigh in.”  Ecclesiastes 3:7 teaches that there is a time to remain silent and a time to speak.

 

2.  Check yourself – Understand whether you harbor hidden motivations? Ask God to reveal the meditations of your heart (Psalm 19:14).

 

3.  Pray before, during, and after the conversation - Ask the Spirit to help you to have the right words to say, and that your words will be saturated in love. Search the Spirit’s counsel before your exchange and rely on the Spirit in your weakness (Romans 8:26-27).

 

4.  Watch your words - Keep it simple. Speak with kindness. Remember, words spoken cannot be taken back, and your words have the power to restore and creatively rebuild, but they also have the power to harm relationships in a lasting and damaging way (James 3:9-10).

 

5.  Keep returning to Love - Don’t be afraid to speak words of love throughout the exchange. Keep returning to the home base of love, the reason behind your words.


6.  Trust in God - Speaking the truth in love will be difficult and may seem costly in the short run. It’s like an investment; it pays more long-range dividends rather than short-term gains. God is able to use your words to create a better relationship.  (Ephesians 3:20-21).


We must remember that God has given people free will, and that means free choice - to do what is pleasing to Him, or that which will cause their downfall.  But to God, sin is sin.  He does not rate or rank them, He detests them all.  


As Christ followers, we are not to condemn anyone, but rather to love them enough to share the truth of the Gospel, which is that all are sinners, and that Jesus bore the penalty for those sins, and that in order to have a restored relationship with God, we must confess our sins and repent of them.  THAT is speaking the truth in love.

 

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