Failure is Not Final




(written on 6/26)

The words “failure is not final” are ones often heard from my pastor Brad Powell’s lips; and they are ones I have certainly found to be true in my own life...

Today would have marked my 33rd wedding anniversary had I stayed married.  And I feel the failure of that marriage every day, for I failed it in every way possible.

Jim and I have talked about this before and he knows these feelings are not commentary on him. He recognizes that I love him dearly and think that he and I are a good match.  He told me that even in high school he felt we could/would/should be married.  Strange that…but I guess I should have listened!

More than anything – with the fact that I am divorced, I lament the dissolution of the “family”.  I HATE sharing Max and having him shuffle between two homes.  I hate the fact that Chris won’t talk to me.  I hate that the Bible tells me God hates divorce – and that because it also says God once divorced Israel, I didn’t pay attention to that.  I hate that I look back at my decision and feel so selfish. 

I think maybe the reason God hates divorce is because it causes such damage for the people who go through it, for the children and families of the people who go through it, and to the very fiber of our lives.  At one point my mom told me I was using a seam ripper on my marriage – and I guess that’s kind of how it feels – like the tapestry that was once there is now a torn remnant with a lot of loose threads.

But failure is not final.  Our Bible heroes teach us that.  Noah failed.  Moses Failed.  Abraham failed.  David failed.  Peter failed.  Paul failed…(I could go on), and yet all of them went on to do great things!

And though I failed in my first marriage – that failure brought me to my knees before God.  That failure is what brought about my relationship with Him.  That failure is why you’re reading this blog post today.  That failure is why I am writing to you from Nicaragua.  For it is through THAT failure that I truly gave my life over to Christ and told him that I choose Him above all else.

Matthew 10:38-39 says “And anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”

It is true that my old life is gone – however, I can tell you with all certainty - my failure is not final, and God has so much MORE planned for my future!

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